The Caged Mind of an Overthinker

“A crowded mind

Leaves no space

For a peaceful heart”

- Christine Evangelou

You come home exhausted after a long day at work, you freshen up and your tired head finally hits the pillow, you are about to drift off to sleep but suddenly your mind starts replaying every single interaction that you had that day in a repetitive monotone of “I should have said this instead,” Soon, you are spiralling into larger questions about your past, your future and the role of your existence. Before you know it, you’ve sunk into the gnawing clutches of overthinking. As the night progresses, you think to yourself that you won’t get a goodnight’s sleep today either, buddy.

Overthinking is the arduous but unstoppable habit of looking too deeply into things. It is when we hyper fixate over a single thought, over-analyze it, disengage from the situation at hand and delve into relatively cryptic matters- such that it comes in the way of our daily functioning.

In this moment of introspection, it is important to know which type of overthinking relates to the thought loops that are racing in your mind, for you to know exactly how to address it.

● Futuristic Overthinking

Futuristic overthinking oftentimes is oriented along What if? questions. This type of overthinking relates to when we are consumed by anxieties about the future. You may gauge your current situation and feel that you are ill-prepared to sustain yourself in the coming times. This can be short-term like an impending exam or long term such as wondering where you will be in the next five years.

● Retrospective Overthinking

“If I had done this instead, maybe things would have been different,” Did that ring a bell? We view our circumstances as a continuum, hence if we are dissatisfied with our present, we tend to attribute it to a mistake we made in the past. Regardless of whether our reasoning is valid or not, dwelling in the past is futile because we cannot possibly change what we did in the past. Retrospective rumination only drains our mental ability to deal with the present.

● Existential worries

Our minds may tend to wander into philosophical realms in the absence of any other thought and the most gruelling of these is the idea of existence. Is this the right career for me? Am I with the right person? Is this what I was meant to do? While one must think about their purpose in life now and then, if these feelings of self-doubt hinder every step that we take in our lives- it can be harmful to our mental wellbeing.

● Social Oversensitivity

An idle mind is a devil’s workshop but the mind of an overthinker is worse than hell itself. If you twist and turn every single conversation that you had with someone, if you constantly keep wondering if your friends or colleagues are judging you for what you said or did, your overthinking habits may have turned you into someone who is extremely socially sensitive. This type of overthinking can also be a sign of social anxiety.

● Self-berating

Feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness can naturally seep in when one is overthinking. Perhaps, an interview of yours did not go well and you are beating yourself up over it with negative self remarks. “There is no hope for me”, “It would never go my way because I am unlucky” Does your inner voice automatically scream these phrases when things go wrong? Negative self-attribution will only reduce our chances of self-improvement because when we begin from a lack mindset, we have already lost the motivation to do better.

While the act of overthinking is based on ruminating over situations which are largely beyond our control, it is not completely hopeless. We often have a purpose of overthinking and most times it is valid. Worrying about your financial conditions, your family, your health are ways to anticipate what is going to happen in the future and in a way protect and prepare yourself from any upcoming endangerment to your security.

But if overthinking has become your mental prison, here are a few ways in which you can control your mind.

● Breathe and let go

Maybe it is time for you to step back and take a breather. If you have been working tirelessly, having no time to collect your thoughts, your mind may be overstimulated. Take a break, take a deep breath and try to bring your focus back to the present. Practising mindfulness is a great way to stay grounded.

● Write it down

You can always jot down your thoughts to clear your head. Overthinking diverts attention and focus from the daily chores that we have to attend to. You can try journaling to empty your mind and improve your focus.

● Find a distraction

Sometimes, the best thing to do is to distract yourself from negative thoughts. You can watch a feel-good movie or listen to some music by your favourite artist. Go ahead, dance around the room and rid yourself of your worries.

● Appreciate yourself

You may be feeling low because of all the self-berating remarks that you have been throwing at yourself. When the low-lows hit and you feel worthless and your mind recalls your failures, do not fail to remind yourself of your achievements- how hard you worked for it and the emotions that you experienced when you won. These can be small and big-wins. Remember when you finally learnt how to parallel park after all those months you spent hitting the curb? You’ve still got it in you!

Most importantly, remember to be kind to yourself. You command your mind and you will always be in control. You are strong enough to bounce back from any hardships.